The world tells us lies each day about who we are, and we often fall prey to believing it is true. We scroll through social media and we see a mom kicking butt and taking names, and we think, why can I not get it all together like her? We see the fabulous things our friends are doing and we wonder, why wasn’t I invited? We see people doing things and sharing things and we feel less than, left out, and not enough. Here is a truth, the mom out there doing her thing and posting it, you only saw the after. You didn’t see the tantrums, the piled up laundry, the fight with her husband, the part of her she feels is ‘less than, left out, and not enough’; you only see what she lets you see. The friend who is out there having fun and posting about it, did not leave you out on purpose, regardless of how you may feel about it. Honestly if you have a sit down chat with the friend, you may find out it was not as fun as it looked. QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF, QUIT TRYING TO FIND YOUR WORTH IN HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU. You are unique in every way. You were created by God on purpose and for purpose. Be aware of this truth. YOU ARE LOVED more than you can ever know.

‘And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ‘ Philippians 4:8 

We often see something or someone and then we look at ourselves in comparison and think the ugliest, meanest things about ourselves. We have to stop this madness if we are ever going to experience joy in the present. Paul’s letter to the Philippians, tells us to focus on what is true. I was reminded of this the other day listening to my boys talking. I love when God uses our children to remind us of His truth. One thing I have tried to teach my kids for a while now is ‘Remember what is true about you’. I knew they would go to school and may face bullies, naysayers, name callers, and just, you know normal people with normal self worth issues. I remembered what my step mom Rita once told me, and she said ‘People only talk bad about you because they feel bad about themselves’. There are people who will tear you down, only to build themselves up.

So what I meant when I told my boys ‘Remember what is true about who you are’ is this: You are loved. Period. You are not defined by anyone else in this world. The God who created the universe created only one you, and there is no comparison. I also remind them of the true things I see in them; you are funny, you are kind, you bring me joy and I remind them they are fearfully and wonderfully made. I also tell them to look for the good in others. It brought my heart much joy to hear by oldest say ‘let someone say something bad about me’, and now I’m having to paraphrase, because I can’t remember exactly how he said it, but the basic was ‘I know who I am and what someone says about me is not going to change it’. It was way better the way he said it, but you get the idea. But wow, right? Out of the mouths of babes. This reminded me how often I focus on who I’m not, and spend so little time thinking about who I am. It also reminds me of when I look at someone not to always assume what I see is who they are, but to have compassion, find the ‘true’, find the good, and know they were made by the God of the universe, in His own image. This truth alone is really all we need to know.

So I challenge you the next time you are scrolling through social media, be happy for the friend on the adventure. Call them up, tell them how excited you were to see they got to do something fun, let them tell you their story, and be ready to really listen. You will not regret it. When you see the mom who has it ‘all together’ remember motherhood is as challenging as is rewarding, say a prayer for her. She needs it whether she realizes it or not. Lastly, if you see someone who posts a lot and you start rolling your eyes thinking, ‘why do they have to post everything’, stop and think how maybe they are feeling less than, left out, or not enough, and then reach out in some way. Offer some encouragement by ‘liking’ their post(s), and maybe invite them to join you for lunch or a coffee for some true one on one connection. Finally, when you feel the urge to compare, remember who you are, not who you are not, and remember YOU ARE LOVED.